So it is 8.8.2018…..quite a day…interesting.
So it is an auspicious day after trailing my broken suitcase up flights of stairs of Londons antiquated shitty transport system. I am pleased to say I sit here with an instrument of light besides me…….
Yes a kaleidoscope. Perhaps something you remember from childhood…that object you looked through like a telescope that transported you into a world of wonderful colour and light. I have a hand build one…It was my dream. I fell in love with it. Was so utterly captivated by it that I hung on with dogged obsession for 8 yrs for it and here it is. It has travelled in my bag with me across the world and brought myself and many others much joy.
It is an instrument of light…I am a bearer of light and this is my journey. I document this as for me it is extraordinary and my dream. Perhaps you should be lucky enough to cross my path and share this love of light. If so I would be delighted to meet you.
In a life filled with drudgery trapping across this globe in search of my home, a roof over my head, peace calm. Ease and beautiful beings. I have come to realise that in utter self reliance and recognition of oneself there is freedom and a wonderful joy.
This is my testimony to that. For I have travelled solo around the world. On a limited budget. Gambling with life putting myself out on a limb to see where it will take me. Not waiting around for years saving up waiting for the job etc. that would make it safe and easy. I had no partner that I travelled with except for one dear old friend of 75 a man who was the artist for the grateful dead. Indeed an extraordinary man who inspired me and taught me much. He has become one of my dearest friends. An enabler, a kind man with a laugh and smile that is infectious filing ones heart with joy.
I met him on the road in a hostel.
In short. To travel on your own as I do is a journey going beyond comfort zones, beyond what one knows. Often risky putting myself out there into countries where I do not speak the language. I have eaten with people from many different cultures, having sat with the ordinary people of the world. When you eat with people you share in something hugel. Something deep and profound and simply human. It is not a spoken experience when you eat you sense and share on many other levels.
Today I travel with an instrument of light.
I give thought and honour and memory to all those beings before me and now that have put themselves far out there to share their love…..that of light.
My name is Akira…… it comes from the opposite of Erika. My born name. I discovered when I met a kaleidoscope. For there in the reflection which is a kaleidoscope was my name. I reflection of self.
Perhaps sometimes in life one needs time to to truelly reflect…………….it has been time now……many years. Dreams stashed in rooftops, dragged through buildings, filled with hope, disillusionments. When you dare to dream and you lose that dream, faced with hopeless horror or life gone wrong, that is where I faced my darkness……..truelly the opposite of my light.
In this time….homeless…seeking my home, so far outside my comfort zone as I have known in my life. I sit. Faced with myself. Here now. The discomfort is so intense I have no choice but to tolerate it. Living it. There is no escape it is my daily reality. I do not know where I will sleep from day to day no security of income always dogged by this continual housing of money….where it is coming from it never stops
I am with these words restoring my dreams, bringing them alive. Manifesting them with the written word. It matters not who sees. It matters not who gets it. What matters is that I get it. I see. Perhaps it Is ones reflections that one sees. I am alone,,,,, it is an illusions but pretty real to someone travelling one their own
Words people speak can be so lame. So no thing. It is the heart and intention that matters that means something. It is that source. The things people say when they try to help you are interesting. I see beyond their meaning and the limits of those that live within safe walls.
Its the boundry dwellers that challenge….the ones that can be found on the edge, on the cross roads, singing, dancing, telling stories.
I am a boundry dweller I always was. I always will be. It hurts intensely. To confine myself to this system, shitstem….Once you have eastern the proverbial red pilll the one no one wants there is no going back. You don’t realise this at the time….but no return…once you see you see…..no thing will ever change that.
No one will thank you for seeing. For stepping outside the norm.Our world in 2018 is becoming more conformist. It is harder to escape…….. the internet has covered the globe. there is a universal conformity within that. A sharedness…a fishpondness………
Where are the artists? This is the realm for me. This has always been. Even when no one sees or hears you and the radar becomes slim your signal blurred you need to find it or you are lost.
I remember many years ago at my. Most lost……..london……..call centre job…….marriage, father dead, heart broken there was no more radar. The shitstem is strong. It is aimed at dimming the signal. This way we are controlled.
Many may not see that. Jazz musicians do.
Now right now it is to listen to myself.
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